Dear families,

At Alianza Preschool, we believe that the way we communicate with our children is the foundation of their emotional development and their ability to cooperate. This month, we want to share some ideas about Positive (Assertive) Communication—a tool that helps us speak to children in a clear and respectful way, guide them to understand what we expect from them, and strengthen their confidence and independence.

Children think in images, which is why positive and concrete messages are often much more effective than negative ones.

Say what to do (instead of what not to do)

We often tell children what not to do: “Don’t run,” “Don’t jump.” But when they hear “no,” their mind focuses on the action itself.

It’s like if a GPS said, “Don’t go straight,” without telling us which way to turn.
A positive message, on the other hand, gives a clear and easy-to-follow direction.

Instead of: “Don’t jump on the couch!”
Try: “Feet on the floor” or “If you want to jump, let’s go outside.”

Be clear and show how
To encourage cooperation, directions should be simple and supported by example.

Instead of: “Why don’t you help me clean up?”
Try: “Julian, put the stuffed animal in the box like this” (and show how).
If you want them to speak more softly, model it: “Use your mouse voice, like this…” (and lower your tone).

Give choices
Offering options within safe limits promotes independence and participation.

Getting dressed: “Do you want the blue pants or the gray ones?”
Cleaning up: “Do you want to put away the blocks or the books first?”

Teach conflict resolution
Behind every challenging behavior, there’s usually an unmet need. Instead of focusing only on the mistake, we can teach the missing skill.

If they push: “You wanted space. Next time, say ‘Excuse me,’ like this…”
If someone takes their toy: “That toy belongs to Sofia. You can say, ‘Can I borrow it?’”

When we focus on what children can do and show them how, we strengthen their autonomy, cooperation, and self-esteem.

We invite you to try these ideas at home and enjoy the positive changes that come from more mindful communication!

With affection,

The Alianza Preschool Team